Hey everybody, it's Cliff, Denise's husband.
Denise has asked me to be a guest blogger for tonight, which I am more than happy to do.
I completed my 10 Day Cleanse this weekend. YeeHaw!!
Now, I did not have quite the nigh unto spiritual experience Denise had. Partly it was spoiled by my quarterly bout of Insomnia, partly stressful because I started it on my 40th birthday and dodging birthday cake is kind of a social downer when you're the birthday boy.
It is amazing that I could function at the high mental level demanded by my job with only 2-3 hours of sleep for a week on so little food. Towards the end I had a two or three nights of 6 hours of sleep, and on those days I felt great.
But lets quickly break it down:
First three days: was significantly less painful than previous detox protocols I have done. Still had terrible headaches, nausea, lethargy. Though this is cloudy due to lack of sleep. Insomnia started before the Cleanse, so as much as I wanted to, I could not blame the green drinks for it. I also couldn't help but think about Soylent Green while chugging the stuff three times a day. The label says vegan though....Maybe it means made from vegans for vegans.
Next three days: No nausea, headaches eventually receded. Energy level was bad though, but again I wasn't sleeping. Foggy headed, grouchy, and feeling socially isolated. Great fun.
When you eat the exact same handful of food day in and day out, you start to notice things. The disruption in your normal routine is good, shakes you out of autopilot for a little while. And one of the big things I first noticed was boredom. Not boredom with the shakes, pills and apples. (though that got boring) But just bored, like a kid on a summer vacation beach trip on the 3rd day of straight rain. I did not realize how much I look forward to the next meal. It's like a little event, a tiny celebration. And without that, the days seemed really long at first. It shed light on some emotional attachments to food which I didn't really think I had.
Last four days: Still plagued with insomnia. Which for me is really all about restless leg syndrome. I used to have bad bouts all the time, but since I started taking my trusty NRF2 activator it got a lot better. And now what used to be every night only happens every few months or so. It lasts for a week or two and then goes away. So as aggravating as it was to wake up every hour with my body twitching and jerking like a Tourette's patient, it was doubly so doing it during a Cleanse. Two great reasons to be grouchy and obtuse and gassy. Well, ok only one reason for that last one.
I used to blame my RLS flareups on my diet. "Well, I ate some chocolate"..or some such thing. But now I had nothing to blame it on. I wasn't eating any of the foods which I thought triggered it. So what else could it be? Maybe the fact that things are pretty stressful at work, I'm behind even worse that normal on all of my paperwork and billing and a major project we have been working on for 8 months is not doing well and we might not make it, costing the practice thousands of dollars. I have two fantastic kids and an outstanding wife. I can't seem to figure out where the balance is between keeping the work plates spinning and the family plates spinning. Maybe that could have something to do with not sleeping so good. You think?!?! Ok genius, good job. Maybe it's not the chocolate, maybe you're human.
I recently read The Worlds Strongest Librarian, a great memoir and cool website. (Spoiler Alert) A lot of his troubles come from being tense, muscular tension and lack of breathing. Actually lack of breathing causes multiple problems. Specifically: shallow breathing where you ignore the bottom half of your lungs. Most folks do that.
(For fun, everyone take a deep breath, breathing and trying to poke your stomach out with air. I bet half of you just coughed. Breathe with all of the lungs you were born with. You'll feel better. )
So being tense, having your muscles all knotted up, make it hard to take a good deep breath. A good deep breath helps unknot your muscles and relieve tension.
Being freed from the idea that my diet was the sole reason for these RLS flareups allowed me to start examining what else could be going on. Which is: it's a symptom of some anxiety which I just don't acknowledge, at least in part. So I'm working through it, or starting to anyway. Which is good. And I'm starting to use our trusty foam roller to get the knots out of my back and shoulders, which helps. I've even tried meditation. Which is quite possibly one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do. It is wicked hard. But I slept great one out of the two nights I have tried it, so we will keep at it for now.
Going forward FAQ: I feel good. Really good. I know I'm supposed to say, "I feel amazing, like I have wings." Nope, not me. But I do feel good, and I don't feel bad, as the old hymn goes. Maybe if I can get some sleep I'll feel amazing, but feeling good on a little bit of sleep is enough of a victory for now.
Are we going to eat meat again? Probably, for special occasions and such. But most of the time, no.
Are we going to have dessert again? Yes, Denise made some fantastic Raw Brownies today which were really good. I could happily eat those, and they didn't trigger any sugar binging urges.
Are we going back to how we were? No plans currently. We're having too much fun with all of the new food to eat and explore.
How much weight did I lose? 10 pounds and 9 inches.
But as Denise said, this is not about the scale. I'd like to see if I could feel fantastic. As a recovering cynic, I have no frame of reference for that. I'd like to start running again, and being lighter with less inflammation will help me run for decades. Currently I'm slinging a Kettlebell around for physical training and exercise, but even that feels lighter right now. I cranked out 50 pushups this morning before I even realized it. As I said, I feel good.
Now, if someone could give me some pointers on meditation, we'll be in business.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Thursday, July 10, 2014
The Weight of the Scale is OFF my shoulders
I mentioned before that I'm doing a 6 week online bootcamp. It started immediately after my 10 day cleanse and requires accountability to my online bootcamp instructor, Lindsay. One of her rules is you ditch the scale for 6 weeks. Since I knew I wasn't going to be near my scale at the end of the 6 weeks I decided to get on the scale today.
It started with a thought "I just want to see where I am." then the conversation went to "what if it's only this number.. what if I didn't lose that much.. if I only weigh this I'm going to be upset.. I know, I'll measure first because I know I have lost inches and then it won't matter what the scale says.."
So I started with a measure - lost 5.5 inches. Not bad, not sure what I expected but I was ok with it. Then I got on the scale. Down 4.5 pounds. Seriously? That's it? It's been 5 weeks and that's it? Now, don't try to make me feel better yet. Don't list all the positives yet. I'll get there for you, give me a sec.
The morning and afternoon was a series of distractions and unmotivated struggles to get anything done. I couldn't think straight. I was dragging. I texted Lindsay, maybe I need some more protein, maybe I need some B-12. Took my B-12, took my nrf2 pill, had some nuts and an apple and started to feel better. Drank a superfood green smoothie and taught my water class. Periods throughout the day crazy cravings started popping up. Where's all the chocolate I used to have in this house? If I eat this block of cheese and don't tell anyone it won't matter right? Man, some french toast sounds really good about now. Huh? Where did those thoughts come from? I haven't thought about any of that for 6 weeks! Thank goodness I have an accountability partner today! It kept me from actually eating any of these things.
Then it HIT ME! All this.. the dragging.. the cravings.. the inability to think straight were all a direct result of that stupid number on the scale! It measured my success in a way that was completely unfair. The number on that scale made me feel like I was not doing this right and I know for a fact that I am. I totally get why the rule was set for this 6 week period and I thank Lindsay for that! I would not have realized how toxic my relationship with the scale really is. And the most enlightening thing about it is how that toxic relationship works against the other toxic relationship, the one with food. I started to see how it worked in the past. If the scale showed a good number it allowed me some room to eat something I really enjoyed. If the scale showed a bad number it allowed me to wallow in my self pity over something I really enjoyed. The cycle continues on and on and is never ending. The way I felt about the scale mentally drove cravings that my body didn't really have anymore. Now, I know about emotional ties to food. I already discussed that in my first post "The Past and the Purpose" but what I didn't realize was the emotional tie I had to the stupid scale that then cycled into emotional food choices as a result. Doesn't that seem wrong?
As a Weight Watchers leader I saw this on a weekly basis. Ladies would STARVE themselves to get a good number on the scale so they could "afford" themselves the opportunity to pig out after the meeting. They had a whole week to get that meal off, so what? Sometimes that one meal would spiral them into the next meal and the weekend and so on. As a leader I had to weigh in every month to stay accountable and they recommend when you become a lifetime member that you weigh every day so you can stay in line. Nope. Not gonna happen. My relationship with the scale is OVER! Why?
Well for one, after looking closer to my results I realized that in just 6.5 weeks I have lost almost 10 pounds and 16 inches! Not too shabby. I have seen results like this but it took me at least 6 months due to my toxic relationship with the scale. The last time I had a transformation period I lost 12 pounds and at least 16 inches. Had I not taken my measurements back then I would have quit numerous times because that number just didn't go down fast enough. Thankfully I can see clearly now the scale is GONE!
Two, if you read any of the fitness magazines and read through the weight loss stories you will find that for most people to get from where they were to their ultimate goal it took YEARS! The one I read yesterday: she started at 260, had an epiphany, made a couple of changes (exercise and cut fast food) a year of this took off 40 pounds. Now motivated she cleans up her diet a little more and down 30 pounds the following year. With all the new self esteem she drives herself to start running races and over the next two years she drops the rest of her weight and runs a marathon and is now training others. If she had instead gone on a liquid diet or some such other fad massive weight loss diet and lost all the weight within 6 months there are parts of this journey that wouldn't exist that are critical to overall success: small changes made it doable, self esteem increased that resulted in not only milestones she could be proud of but a complete change in a more fulfilling career. Am I ok with this taking years? WHY YES because this is NOT about the number on the scale. This is not about my weight - haven't I said that like 5 times already? It just took a stupid number on the scale to bring to light yet another enlightening thought about this journey:
THE SCALE IS NOT WELCOME! There is no room on this journey for the scale and anyone that cares too much about the number on the scale - I encourage you to join me in ditching the stupid thing. You will know if you have lost weight. Your clothes will tell you.
The new rules to ensure that I don't gain weight (to keep from needing to weigh):
Eat until I'm full or satisfied and stop there
Eat only when I'm hungry
Knowing what I'm eating there's no way I will gain if I eat this clean and follow these rules. The scale is no longer needed. The breakup is complete. I'm sorry, scale, it's not you it's me. This relationship is no longer working for me. Who's with me?
It started with a thought "I just want to see where I am." then the conversation went to "what if it's only this number.. what if I didn't lose that much.. if I only weigh this I'm going to be upset.. I know, I'll measure first because I know I have lost inches and then it won't matter what the scale says.."
So I started with a measure - lost 5.5 inches. Not bad, not sure what I expected but I was ok with it. Then I got on the scale. Down 4.5 pounds. Seriously? That's it? It's been 5 weeks and that's it? Now, don't try to make me feel better yet. Don't list all the positives yet. I'll get there for you, give me a sec.
The morning and afternoon was a series of distractions and unmotivated struggles to get anything done. I couldn't think straight. I was dragging. I texted Lindsay, maybe I need some more protein, maybe I need some B-12. Took my B-12, took my nrf2 pill, had some nuts and an apple and started to feel better. Drank a superfood green smoothie and taught my water class. Periods throughout the day crazy cravings started popping up. Where's all the chocolate I used to have in this house? If I eat this block of cheese and don't tell anyone it won't matter right? Man, some french toast sounds really good about now. Huh? Where did those thoughts come from? I haven't thought about any of that for 6 weeks! Thank goodness I have an accountability partner today! It kept me from actually eating any of these things.
Then it HIT ME! All this.. the dragging.. the cravings.. the inability to think straight were all a direct result of that stupid number on the scale! It measured my success in a way that was completely unfair. The number on that scale made me feel like I was not doing this right and I know for a fact that I am. I totally get why the rule was set for this 6 week period and I thank Lindsay for that! I would not have realized how toxic my relationship with the scale really is. And the most enlightening thing about it is how that toxic relationship works against the other toxic relationship, the one with food. I started to see how it worked in the past. If the scale showed a good number it allowed me some room to eat something I really enjoyed. If the scale showed a bad number it allowed me to wallow in my self pity over something I really enjoyed. The cycle continues on and on and is never ending. The way I felt about the scale mentally drove cravings that my body didn't really have anymore. Now, I know about emotional ties to food. I already discussed that in my first post "The Past and the Purpose" but what I didn't realize was the emotional tie I had to the stupid scale that then cycled into emotional food choices as a result. Doesn't that seem wrong?
As a Weight Watchers leader I saw this on a weekly basis. Ladies would STARVE themselves to get a good number on the scale so they could "afford" themselves the opportunity to pig out after the meeting. They had a whole week to get that meal off, so what? Sometimes that one meal would spiral them into the next meal and the weekend and so on. As a leader I had to weigh in every month to stay accountable and they recommend when you become a lifetime member that you weigh every day so you can stay in line. Nope. Not gonna happen. My relationship with the scale is OVER! Why?
Well for one, after looking closer to my results I realized that in just 6.5 weeks I have lost almost 10 pounds and 16 inches! Not too shabby. I have seen results like this but it took me at least 6 months due to my toxic relationship with the scale. The last time I had a transformation period I lost 12 pounds and at least 16 inches. Had I not taken my measurements back then I would have quit numerous times because that number just didn't go down fast enough. Thankfully I can see clearly now the scale is GONE!
Two, if you read any of the fitness magazines and read through the weight loss stories you will find that for most people to get from where they were to their ultimate goal it took YEARS! The one I read yesterday: she started at 260, had an epiphany, made a couple of changes (exercise and cut fast food) a year of this took off 40 pounds. Now motivated she cleans up her diet a little more and down 30 pounds the following year. With all the new self esteem she drives herself to start running races and over the next two years she drops the rest of her weight and runs a marathon and is now training others. If she had instead gone on a liquid diet or some such other fad massive weight loss diet and lost all the weight within 6 months there are parts of this journey that wouldn't exist that are critical to overall success: small changes made it doable, self esteem increased that resulted in not only milestones she could be proud of but a complete change in a more fulfilling career. Am I ok with this taking years? WHY YES because this is NOT about the number on the scale. This is not about my weight - haven't I said that like 5 times already? It just took a stupid number on the scale to bring to light yet another enlightening thought about this journey:
THE SCALE IS NOT WELCOME! There is no room on this journey for the scale and anyone that cares too much about the number on the scale - I encourage you to join me in ditching the stupid thing. You will know if you have lost weight. Your clothes will tell you.
The new rules to ensure that I don't gain weight (to keep from needing to weigh):
Eat until I'm full or satisfied and stop there
Eat only when I'm hungry
Knowing what I'm eating there's no way I will gain if I eat this clean and follow these rules. The scale is no longer needed. The breakup is complete. I'm sorry, scale, it's not you it's me. This relationship is no longer working for me. Who's with me?
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Plant POWER workouts
I have read about this from other plant based athletes. Rich Roll, after a detox and a month eating a whole foods plant based diet went out for an easy trail run and felt so good that he ended up running 24 miles! The longest run of his lifetime at that point! How is that possible? No meat in your diet? No milk (which is now the media's favorite workout beverage). Nothing but plants, legumes, nuts and whole grains?
I have been getting a glimpse of that this week. I have mentioned before that my recovery has been easy. Part of it is due to my plant powerful diet, the other is due to the nrf2 activator I'm taking every day. It's not only activating my antioxidant enzymes to elliminate the age dependent increase of oxidative stress but turns out it's also activating my anti-inflammatory enzymes as well! My body can make it's own any time I need it. No anti-inflammatory medicines or ibuprofen needed. Loving it!
So on Tuesday I had to teach a class at the gym. I went early and got in 45 minutes of cardio first. I didn't have to. I wanted to. I did the Arc trainer on a higher level than normal and felt strong doing it. Then taught my class and burned around 450 calories. I was pumped! When I was done with class I could have gone for something else. If I didn't have a thousand things to do I would have considered it. Before all this I would have been wiped out after class.
I can't explain how unbelievably good I feel. I sleep great, I don't hit the slumps, I'm free from cravings, I'm in control and can freely choose what I want because my body wants all the good stuff. My relationship with food has switched to an appreciation for what my body can do when I treat it right. I want to do that more than I want a relationship with food. I'm excited about the foods I CAN eat and the new recipes I can't wait to try like Quinoa black bean burgers for the 4th of July and Quinoa pesto pizza. When you break away from the addicting foods the freedom is a powerful motivator.
Physically, I can actually see achieving all the challenging goals I have toyed with in my mind but never truly believed I could do. Things like running a marathon and completing an Ironman. Why not?
Well first I will have to learn how to swim in a straight line...that'll need some work.
I have been getting a glimpse of that this week. I have mentioned before that my recovery has been easy. Part of it is due to my plant powerful diet, the other is due to the nrf2 activator I'm taking every day. It's not only activating my antioxidant enzymes to elliminate the age dependent increase of oxidative stress but turns out it's also activating my anti-inflammatory enzymes as well! My body can make it's own any time I need it. No anti-inflammatory medicines or ibuprofen needed. Loving it!
So on Tuesday I had to teach a class at the gym. I went early and got in 45 minutes of cardio first. I didn't have to. I wanted to. I did the Arc trainer on a higher level than normal and felt strong doing it. Then taught my class and burned around 450 calories. I was pumped! When I was done with class I could have gone for something else. If I didn't have a thousand things to do I would have considered it. Before all this I would have been wiped out after class.
I can't explain how unbelievably good I feel. I sleep great, I don't hit the slumps, I'm free from cravings, I'm in control and can freely choose what I want because my body wants all the good stuff. My relationship with food has switched to an appreciation for what my body can do when I treat it right. I want to do that more than I want a relationship with food. I'm excited about the foods I CAN eat and the new recipes I can't wait to try like Quinoa black bean burgers for the 4th of July and Quinoa pesto pizza. When you break away from the addicting foods the freedom is a powerful motivator.
Physically, I can actually see achieving all the challenging goals I have toyed with in my mind but never truly believed I could do. Things like running a marathon and completing an Ironman. Why not?
Well first I will have to learn how to swim in a straight line...that'll need some work.
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